This doesn’t just apply to furniture assembly. For many of us, when we first stepped out into the work of loving and serving others, we had a simplistic (and perhaps naïve) vision of just how easy it was going to be. Turns out, loving others is far more complicated and difficult than we originally imagined. Opening Ourselves to Pain S everal years ago, my wife and I attended a summit designed for families walking through adoption and foster care. I imag- ine that most of the attendees found themselves in the same place that I did: armed with the ar- dent conviction of our call to love and care for orphans, widows, and vulnerable children. God has been unmistakably clear in His charge to the Church to care for them. To Laurel and me, our next step seemed obvi- ous: Kids in crisis were in need of a safe place to live, and we had room in our hearts and our home. The math was simple, and love rooted in the gospel compelled us to respond. But cheerful brochures with smiling children hide the reality that between those moments of giggles are a lot of tears. Our family took a deep breath and plunged head-first into a world of addiction, hurt, and pain. We opened up our home to provide respite care, knowing that loving people is an inherently dangerous thing to do. We genuinely believed that we were ready. Nothing could have prepared us for what was coming. Our experience in welcoming a child turned into the single most painful season of our lives. I experienced fear like I’ve never felt it before. Pain and resentment became constant compan- ions—and the most wrenching pain that I experienced was watching the people that I love the most become deeply wounded. Here is what I’ve come to believe: There are no simple ways to love others. Love is costly. Indeed, as people invited to incarnate Christ in a broken world, if our love looks anything like Jesus’ love, it could cost us everything that we’ve got. Faithfully loving others like Jesus loves them inevitably means that you will experience hurt. Stepping out to welcome the foreigner, protect the widow, defend the fatherless, and love our brothers and sisters living on the fringes of soci- ety isn’t comfortable or safe. Empowered by the Holy Spirit and motivated by the same wild, scandalous love that once rescued us, we are called to step into the good works that God has prepared in advance for us. If you have embarked on a journey to love the vulnerable and found it to be more difficult than you imagined, do not lose heart! Our Response H ow are we to respond to the pain that accompanies living lives marked by costly love? 1. Expect that loving others is going to be hard. Don’t believe the IKEA manual claim that the task ahead of you will be simple, or that trite explanations and simple solutions are going to fix all the problems. Real life rarely presents itself in a sanitized, comfortable way. Instead, lean into the truth that the world is broken. We know that Jesus has won the war— but the battle rages on. We shouldn’t be surprised when life is painful. We shouldn’t be surprised when relationships are difficult. We shouldn’t be surprised when hurt people hurt us. We are to go into our service with our eyes wide open, know- ing that “in this world you will have troubles” (John 16:33). 30 WWW.CITYGATENETWORK.ORG MAY/JUNE 2019